Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
