Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
