I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
