Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
