You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
