u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
