I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
