i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
