At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
