Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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