yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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