Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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