im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
