dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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