This girl is more easily done than said...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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