google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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