This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
