i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
