Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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