I can't watch pbs sober anymore
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
