when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
