do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
