good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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