shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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