Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Randomize