I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
