Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
