i think my mom watched the whole time
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
