So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
