hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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