I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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