im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
