Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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