My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
