Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
