he thought i was a dude.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize