When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
