Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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