yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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