ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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