if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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