You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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