So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hippo gnu deer
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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