I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
