Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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