So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
