i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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