the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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