why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
