I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she smelled like a LAN party
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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