Screwed.edu
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize