last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
