wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
