I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
