I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
