Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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