So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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