Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
